


I Still Believe

by FIREL0RDAZULA



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Future, Happy Ending, Reunions, ghost - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27340210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FIREL0RDAZULA/pseuds/FIREL0RDAZULA
Summary: After 40 years without Dani, Jamie’s time on Earth is finally coming to a close. As her cancer spreads, she knows exactly where she needs to spend her final days- Bly Manor.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	1. 2040

**Author's Note:**

> since the ghost canon was a bit vague, this is how i interpreted ghost dani might interact with the manor/being the lady in the lake. if i get anything minor wrong with the ghost canon let me know so i can fix it :)

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**2040**

After 40 years of running their flower shop alone, Jamie decided it was time to close up shop. Her old bones had grown tired and achy, and with no help, she didn’t have the means to keep it running, as much as she had the desire to. And though she wouldn’t admit it out loud, she couldn’t bear to see her and Dani’s creation fall into different hands. It was theirs, and Jamie was determined to make sure that it would die with them. 

So, on May 15th, 2040, she closed up The Leafling for the final time, and left 60 years of memories, both painful and joyous, behind. It was certainly bittersweet, but she knew she had made the right choice. Dani wouldn’t want her to push herself too hard, she knew she would want her to be happy above all else, and this seemed like the happiest choice she could make at this stage in her life. 

You see, she had another problem looming over her. A few weeks earlier, her doctor had informed her that her Lung Cancer had spread to both lungs, and she had only a few months left to live. That was a hard diagnosis for anyone, though she took it especially hard. She had learned to deal with her lung cancer over the couple of years she had it. She was a resilient woman, and she knew if she could get through losing the love of her life, she could get through this. 

But even resilient people reach their end at some point, and she knew it was finally her turn. Just as it had been Dani’s 40 years earlier. Tears welled in her eyes as she turned the key to The Leafling one last time. _This must’ve been how Dani felt the night she traveled to Bly one last time,_ she thought tearfully to herself. 

For all those years spent with her, she always wanted to know how Dani must’ve felt not knowing how long she might have on this Earth. Maybe this was the universe’s, or even the manor’s way of showing her after all these years. Maybe it was for the best she was going to die this way, to share her lover’s pain all these years later. Even in her final months, even after 40 trips around the sun, she was still feeling for the both of them. 

Despite her reservations, she knew what she had to do. There was truly only one place for her to breathe her final breath. Bly. 

\--------------------------

Jamie slowly boarded the plane at Boston Logan Airport headed for London Heathrow, taking in the sights and smells of an airplane one last time. It was truly bittersweet. She always loved vacationing with Dani, and as childish as it might seem, flying was one of their favorite parts. Flying thousands of feet in the air in a small metal tube had always given them some sort of childish whimsey she still couldn’t shake to this day. Even seeing a plane in the air made her think of Dani, and the thought of going on one wasn’t even in the question up until this point. Perhaps that’s why she hadn’t left New England in 40 years. 

However, for now, she would have to put her grief aside. She knew what was waiting for her at Bly Manor after all these years, and she wasn’t going to let that go just because of a silly memory. 

After the plane took off, she found herself looking out over the ocean. An ocean that she told herself she would never cross again 40 years earlier. And yet, here she was. She stared out at the open ocean for the long 6 and a half hour flight, alone with only her thoughts. She could’ve watched a movie or read a book, but it felt inappropriate for some reason. Like she was wasting precious time. 

The gardener’s plane finally landed at the gloomy, yet nostalgic Heathrow airport sometime around dusk. She knew Owen and the rest of the Bly Manor crew were long dead or had forgotten about it entirely, so she had to rely on someone else to take her to the small town of Bly. 

She finally found an online taxi on her phone (which was a miracle in and of itself considering she didn’t know how to use it) that was willing to drive the distance, so she lifted herself carefully into his car. Thanks to GPS, he could easily get to Bly, though he’d probably never been there himself. They apparently had even paved the roads there, something she could’ve desperately used all of those years ago. 

After what seemed like a millennium drowning in her own sea of thoughts, the driver snapped her out of her coma. They had arrived. 

Despite the years she had spent away from the manor, it looked exactly how she remembered it. The small church was still sitting peacefully at the edge of the property, the statue garden still stared blankly into oblivion, and most importantly, her garden looked as if she had never left. 

Once again, the driver interrupted her while she was deep in thought. 

“The GPS brought me here, but are you sure this is the place? It looks… abandoned,” the driver said cautiously. 

Despite her personal perception of the Manor, she had to admit, to an outsider, this place looked abandoned. Many of the windows of the main house were boarded up, and there was obvious wear on the house from years of neglect. And yet, at least to her, it looked pristine considering it had been abandoned for so long. 

“Thank you, but this is exactly where I’d like to be. Thank you for the ride, it was lovely.” Jamie smiled and nodded, as to dismiss him. He gave her a funny look and hopped back in his car. She didn’t care if he thought she was crazy. She knew this is exactly where she needed to be. 

  
  


  
  



	2. 2040: Part 2

Despite her age and condition, Jamie could get around fairly well. Unlike many people her age, she didn’t have to use a walker and didn’t have much trouble walking at all. Maybe it was because she spent all of those years working herself to death to keep The Leafling afloat. Or many it was just good luck. She could never be sure. 

Because of her athletic stature, she made it to the entrance of the manor in a matter of minutes. She was unsure how she was going to make it in, given nobody had lived there for who knows how long, but nevertheless, she pressed on. 

She first knocked on the door out of paranoia. No answer. She was thankful for that. Despite knowing Dani would never share her dreadful fate with others, she always worried that some poor bloke would die accidentally on the property and become stuck. No such thing had occurred, thank god. 

After waiting several minutes for the nonexistent answer to the door, she decided to open it herself. To her surprise, the handles turned just as they had all of those years prior. Once she managed to get the door open after a bit of a struggle due to its weight, the grand door revealed the striking foyer the elegant manor was centered around. In spite of its abandonment, the foyer was just as pristine and glamorous as it had been the last time she saw it about 50 years ago. Maybe it was the manor’s doing, keeping itself from rotting as a sort of “thank you” for releasing the souls of the people who roamed within it for centuries. Or maybe, just maybe, it was Dani keeping the manor up to snuff, faithfully waiting for her lover’s return. 

_ No! Jamie,  _ she thought to herself,  _ you have to stop getting your hopes up.  _ Despite her return to the manor, Jamie wasn’t hopeful that she would see her lover again, even in death. While the manor obviously had trapped a countless number of souls within its borders previously, now that Jamie was the Lady of the Lake, she wasn’t sure ghosts could even inhabit Bly. Including hers. 

Nevertheless, she kept her spirits generally high given the situation. She had decided long ago that even if she couldn’t be with Dani after her death, Jamie would spend her final days at her lover’s final resting place. She wasn’t sure if Dani could see her, or even remember her, but she wanted to be there for her in her final moments, even if it was only in spirit. 

She shook her head of her grim thoughts so she could explore the rest of the large manor. She made her way to the kitchen, as she had spent much of her time at the manor with her chosen family there, and it held the best memories. Despite the many years she had spent away from the house, she knew exactly where everything was, and started for the kitchen suddenly, as if her feet had a mind of their own. 

Just as the foyer had, the kitchen looked oddly the same. The appliances obviously no longer worked and looked horribly outdated, but it was the same kitchen nonetheless. Even its general aroma was the same. 

After sitting at the dining room table and taking in the sights and smells of the large kitchen, she made her way around the rest of the manor. None of it was as nostalgic as the foyer or the kitchen, except for maybe Dani’s old bedroom. Though Jamie herself hadn’t spent much time in the room herself, Dani had. And every memory of this room had Dani in it. Just like she had the kitchen, Jamie laid down in Dani’s bed. She closed her eyes and pretended, even if just for a fleeting moment, that she was 25 again with Dani sleeping peacefully next to her, both of her eyes still a deep ocean blue. 

She missed that innocent time, before they even knew who the Lady of the Lake was. It was just them and the excitement of a true love neither of them had truly been familiar with. No ghosts, no Lady of the Lake, no concept of the fleeting time they had left. Just them. 

While alone with her thoughts, she fell asleep. Anyone who had her day would be exhausted, let alone an old woman with terminal cancer. And so, she had a restful and dreamless sleep, something she hadn’t experienced in ages. Maybe it was the thought of Dani sleeping peacefully next to her, or maybe just the jetlag. She didn’t care. She was here, and she was here to stay. 

\--------------------------

Jamie had been at the manor for a few months now. In her suitcase, she had packed lots of food to sustain herself while she was there. Even though she was dying, she had to sustain herself somehow. She managed to get the kitchen in working order, along with the bathroom. She had always been a handy person, and working on a place that she knew like the back of her hand certainly helped. 

To keep herself busy, she tended to the garden just like she had all of those years earlier. It was therapeutic, and not much work due to the oddly well-kept shape it had been in when she arrived. The thought that it might have been Dani’s work certainly crossed her mind, but she ruled it out with certainty. She loved the girl to death, she honestly and truly did, but gardening had never been her strong suit. She couldn’t have kept it in this condition, no matter how hard she might’ve tried. Besides, she always took charge of the business side of running The Leafling, something she seemed completely alright with. 

\------------------------------------

Jamie’s routine of eating, gardening, and sleeping continued for a couple of months until her body couldn’t keep up. Although her mind was completely there, sharper than ever, her body was failing her. It became harder and harder to breathe every day with each bloody coughing fit leading directly into the other. The chest pain was becoming unbearable, and soon all she could do is lay in bed and hope it might be her time soon. 

As she lay in Dani’s bed, aware that she might not even have a week yet, she looked back upon her life. Her tumultuous childhood, her time at Bly, those idyllic days spent in Vermont with Dani, and the overwhelming grief of her later years.

When Dani died, Jamie thought she would never love again. She had found her soulmate, her one in a million, and no one could fill that bottomless pit in her heart. And she was right, she never did find another Dani. She tried to get back on the dating scene after a couple of years without Dani, but these fleeting relationships only made her more despondent. 

As she started to age, she eventually gave up. She accepted the reality of her situation and became as content as one can be after losing the love of your life. She knew Dani would want her to keep living her life and move on. And though Jamie knew she would never be able to do that, she figured she would keep on living, no matter how hard things got. All for Dani. 

And now, here she was. She was dying, and she knew it. No one could escape death. Not even Jamie. 

She mulled over if this is how Dani felt as the Lady of the Lake consumed nearly every part of Dani’s mind. The thought had certainly crossed her mind before, but in the gardener’s final days, she truly felt Dani’s pain, just as she had promised to all of those years ago. And though Jamie couldn’t relate to her mind failing her, the overwhelming presence of an ever-approaching death is a universal and equally agonizing experience, no matter the ailment. 

Jamie spent the last few days of her life slipping in and out of sleep, wondering if each would be her last. She tried to eat, though nothing would stay down. Cooking had become too much of an effort anyhow. Jamie had admittedly lasted much longer than she thought she would. Before she arrived, she imagined her stay being short, maybe one or two months. But now it was month 6, and she still hadn’t succumbed to her illness. Maybe it was through sheer determination, or maybe just luck. She couldn’t be sure. All she knew is that she was content with her fate growing closer and closer in the rearview mirror. She knew she was finally ready to face the monster that had stolen everything from her, and she would face it with as much grace and composure as possible. 

\-----------------------------------------

Jamie began to panic as she felt overwhelmed by the lack of air filling her ailing lungs. She had fits like this previously, but this one was different. She could feel it. Shifting to a different side of the bed or doing breathing exercises her doctor taught her typically helped, but now, no matter what she tried, she still couldn’t catch her breath. 

The day had finally come. No longer would she feel the hope and uncertainty of the future. There was no more future for Jamie. This was it. Her final moments. She became scatterbrained and frantic, her mind running at 100 miles per hour. Would Dani be there for her in the afterlife? Would she remember her? Had she faded? Would she be mad at her for purposefully dying at Bly? 

She shook her head weakly in order to shake the thoughts away. Her concerns were valid, but they no longer mattered. No matter what her afterlife might look like, it was fast-approaching and unstoppable. She told herself she would go out with grace, and that’s exactly what she was going to do. 

As the reality of her situation set in, she felt her effort to breathe decrease. An overwhelming sense of peace and love washed over her as she felt herself relax and calm down thinking of all of the wonderful people and places she had met throughout her life. Despite the tragedies that befell it, her life was a good one. One she could be happy with. 

Just before she was about to close her eyes for the final time, a figure appeared before her. Short in stature, covered in denim and pastel colors, with pale white skin and beautiful blonde hair. The figure’s features had finally come into view, its piercing blue eyes gazing upon her. Its gaze was soft and tender, and it seemed to be crying. Soft freckles lined every inch of the figure’s face, its nose delicate and subtle. Even in her final moments, Jamie could not mistake the soft, yet striking features of someone she held very dear to her fragile heart. 

“Poppins?”

**Author's Note:**

> thank u to paula (@flowerrscent on twitter) for helping me come up with this idea :) love u!!


End file.
